BOOK EXCERPT: If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We’ve Learned About Making an LGBTQ Family

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If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We’ve Learned About Making an LGBTQ Family

Now available! Robin Hopkin’s and Jaimie Kelton’s debut book based on the popular and award-winning podcast If These Ovaries Could Talk | Follow #ITOCT on Twitter @ovariestalk and on Instagram @ovaries_talk

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Product Details

JAIMIE KELTON and ROBIN HOPKINS, the creators and hosts of the popular podcast If These Ovaries Could Talk, realized the world needed to know there was more than one way to make an LGBTQ family. Each of their families came about in different ways, so how many other stories were out there? Turns out, lots. Inspired, the two friends launched their podcast asking LGTBQ families every question imaginable about their journeys to parenthood. Now the two hosts have written a book based on dozens of interviews to help address recurring questions that came up during their podcast. Is it important to have a child with your genetics? How does one pick a sperm donor? How will you talk to your children about where they came from? And just how does one pay for a baby because rumor has it, it costs a lot?

With insights and stories from guests such as StaceyAnn Chin, Judy Gold, and State Senator Zach Wahls, Jaimie and Robin go humorously in-depth and guide you on a journey that is equal parts funny, serious, happy, sad, celebratory, cautionary, and powerful. You can read this book cover-to-cover or skip around like your very own LGBTQ choose your own baby adventure book. You’ll learn a lot and laugh even more along the way! Who knew making a baby could be this much fun? More about the book.

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Excerpted from the book, If These Ovaries Could Talk by Jaimie Kelton and Robin Hopkins

Introduction

Hello, and welcome to our book. We know it’s a bit nontraditional to welcome readers to a book they’ve just bought, but as you’ll soon see, your authors are all kinds of nontraditional.

Now we’ve got you here, we’re making the assumption that you likely fall into one of two main categories.

First, you saw our catchy book title that shouts out, “This is going to be a book about how an LGBTQ couple makes a baby.” And you thought to yourself, “Hmm, I’m an L, G, B, T, or a Q, and I always wanted to have a baby. But I have no idea how to do that. Maybe I’ll buy this book.”

Second, you’ve always been curious about how that lovely gay couple from down the block with the very nice-looking lawn, got their adorable daughter. But you’ve been too afraid to ask. Well, we’re excited to report that this book is for you. After reading it, you’ll each get the answers you’re looking for. You’ll also learn the etiquette around asking about your neighbor’s situation, whether you’ve had wine or not.

We cover some serious ground in this book. We talk about the decision to make a nontraditional family, all the different ways LGBTQ folks can make a family, from the medical process to adoption or foster care. We cover how much it costs, and hold on to your hats, it costs a lot. And we dip our toes into the legal protections that nontraditional families need to consider and put in place.

But this isn’t just a how-to or a why-to book. We also talk about what life is like for nontraditional families once that baby arrives. What it’s like to navigate parenting roles with two moms or two dads or a trans parent? What it’s like to navigate insensitive questions like, “Who’s the real dad?” We tackle being out as a family, teaching your kids about their nontraditional family, and what life is like as the nonbiological parent. And we touch on religion, intersectionality and gender fluidity.

Like we said, we cover a lot of ground.

We think the most exciting part of this book is that you will not just hear from the authors. This isn’t a biology textbook that you found at a garage sale. Those books are fine, but this one is a lot more, how do you say, unprofessional. We don’t take positions and try to woo you toward a conclusion about what our families are like because there is no one-size-fits-all LGBTQ family. Pardon the cliché this early in the book, but our families are a veritable rainbow, made up of different experiences and different stories. You’ll be hearing straight from the mouths of LGBTQ families about their journey, and we’re here to guide you along in that process.

Now you’re probably nodding your head as you turn the pages, sitting slightly forward, intrigued by what’s coming in the next couple of hundred pages. But your eyes are slightly scrunched because you’re wondering who the hell is the we who are talking here?

The we who will be with you throughout this book are Jaimie Kelton and Robin Hopkins. That’s us. We’re moms, we’re both lesbians who are married to other ladies, and we each have two kids. We’re also the hosts of a popular podcast called If These Ovaries Could Talk. And besides the two categories of readers we already described who we thought may be interested in this book, there may be a third category of reader, fans of our podcast who are dying to see how we’ve transformed the podcasts into a readable and informative book.

We started this journey back in the summer of 2017. Jaimie’s wife Anne had their first baby several years before that, and when it was Jaimie’s turn to have the second, she experienced years of unexplained infertility that took both a financial and emotional toll on Jaimie and her wife. To find comfort, Jaimie searched the Web for stories about other LGBTQ families experiencing infertility.

When Jaimie couldn't find more than an anecdote or two, she had the idea that she should put her entertainment background to good use and make a podcast talking with her friends about their journey to parenthood and the fertility process. But she didn’t think she would actually make the podcast. To be honest, she has a lot of ideas and admittedly does none of them. That’s kind of her thing.

So it was Pride Month and Jaimie met up with her friends at the LGBTQ Family Pride Picnic and Robin was there with her wife and two kids. Just like every year before, the group of friends headed off to a neighborhood bar that had a “kid-friendly” back room. And over margaritas, Jaimie said, “Oh hey, Robin. I have this idea for a podcast.”

What Jaimie didn’t know was that Robin had recently finished up an acting and writing project and had time to spare. Robin doesn’t do well with spare time, and she needs to fill it. Also, Jaimie was unaware that Robin is an absolute maniac with zero ability to do a project as a hobby.

They met up at Robin’s office and with a laptop placed between them, Jaimie looked on in horror as Robin created approximately 1000 Google documents. If you can’t imagine the scene, picture Jaimie crouching next to Robin, back curled, silently mouthing the words, “What’s a Master Production Template?”

And a podcast was born.

We went into production, and after recording just two episodes, we realized that the focus of the show was not quite right. We decided that the goal of the podcast should not be to teach LGBTQ people exactly how to make a baby, even though that type of information is an undercurrent of the show, and we get countless emails from listeners thanking us for helping them navigate the process. But our goal became to normalize (for lack of a better word) our nontraditional families. To show the world our struggles, our love, our joy, our thoughtfulness and our humanity.

We focus on what makes each couple or person special, what makes their journey unique. Our intention is to spread the word about our families to LGBTQ folks, straight allies and that dude who thinks he has never met a gay person. The more our stories are told, the more we are heard and seen.

Since the podcast first aired in January 2018, we’ve met some really beautiful people with fascinating stories. We talked to a family with five parents and two kids, and it all works, to a sperm donor from the UK, to some queerspawn who said it turned out okay (with some bumps along the way), to a couple whose first child was stillborn, to a doula who breastfed her adopted baby, and to a couple that found love and the Lord. We talked to everyday folks and to a few famous people like Judy Gold, Staceyann Chin, Iowa State Senator Zach Wahls, and the Rosie O’Donnell.

In this book we’re sharing excerpts from these conversations organized into chapters by topic. You’ll get a sense of the shared LGBTQ family experience, as well as all the differences that make us a spectacular, glittery rainbow of a community.

Oh, and you’ll hear about our own journeys too. Both of us have had our own different paths to parenthood. Jaimie’s included partially liquidating her wife’s pension. Twice. We don’t recommend that. Robin’s included a trip to Bogota, Colombia where she was given a single vial of sperm in order to try to have a second kid by the same donor as the first. We don’t recommend that either.

We’ve often compared the journey to parenthood for LGBTQ folks to a roller coaster ride. At first, you’re really excited. You’re sure that after the ride, you’ll get off exhilarated and buy that picture of yourself screaming as you shoot down the big drop, hands raised high in the air. But the reality of roller coasters is that you wait on a really long line, squish yourself into one of those tiny seats, and then as the safety bar locks into place, you realize you can’t fully exhale. The car chugs up the hill, clink-by-clink, and suddenly you’re wondering when was the last time they tightened the bolts on the tracks? But there’s no turning back now. You just have to hold on and try to enjoy the ride.

That’s how it is when you’re spending a lot of money trying to create a family in a world that’s not set up for families like yours. That’s how parenting is in general. And that’s probably what it will be like with us as your guides in this book.

So strap in and enjoy the ride!

Jaimie and Robin

Excerpted from If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We’ve Learned About Making an LGBTQ Family by Jaimie Kelton and Robin Hopkins. Copyright © 2020. Jaimie Kelton and Robin Hopkins. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. For permission requests, contact Lit Riot Press.

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Reviews and Endorsements

"I love this book. It's funny. It's heartwarming. It's endearing. And it's eye-opening in terms of what LGBTQ folks go through to make a family. But it's also really relevant to people like me who've gone through the fertility process at a doctor's office." - Amy Schumer

"Jaimie Kelton and Robin Hopkins are helping to empower a whole new generation of LGBTQ people, specifically LGBTQ women, as they navigate their journey towards parenthood. At a time in our nation’s history when some politicians continue to target the rights of LGBTQ parents, Kelton and Hopkins are countering the conversation with accurate, informative, and inspiring advice for LGBTQ people looking to explore the beauty of having children." - Sarah Kate Ellis, President and CEO of GLADD

“Robin and Jaimie have put together a masterpiece. It’s funny. It’s informative. It’s brutally honest.” - Comedian and Actor, Judy Gold

“The book highlights a wide array of different people and couples who share their family building journey. While many of the stories feature LGBTQ families that range from funny to moving, the book highlights just how much a family is a family no matter how they began.” - Jennifer "Jay" Palumbo, Forbes

“Robin and Jaimie are a delight. And their book is so insightful and helpful and… it just makes you feel not alone. Even if you are not a member of the LGBTQ community, I guarantee you, you will find moments in this book that you relate to and that you can share." - Biz Ellis, Host of One Bad Mother

“It's a lot of fun, it's a lot of laughs, and it's really informative.” - Rachel Cleary, Host of Hear and Now with Rachel C. on Radio Free Brooklyn

“This is more than a book, it is an experience and a journey that takes us to places we may never have thought of. It is filled with the emotions of laughter and joy and it celebrates the concept of family both humorously and seriously.” – Amos Lassen Reviews

“Robin and Jaimie have not only created an entire podcast around creating families for the LGBTQ+ community but they wrote a book with all of the important information… It’s laugh out loud funny.” – The Book Advocate

Ovaries Talk, Robin Hopkins, Lit Riot Press News, Jaimie KeltonLit Riot PressJanuary 22, 2022If These Ovaries Could Talk, Robin Hopkins, Jaimie Kelton, Ovaries Talk, LGBTQ